Your kid would do anything to have a ball pit. You would do almost anything not to have 6,000 new pieces of plastic invade your place.
The solution? We bring you our Climb and Slide Bundle that comes with its own ball pit. You keep it for as long as you want it. Then we come and take it away once you’re through. You never have to see it again if you don’t want.
Allow us to elucidate. Right. On ball pits.
Your kids get sick of toys faster than the folks at Hasbro –– or whoever still makes toys –– can invent them. Indoor playgrounds and urban jungle gyms harbor more bacteria-borne illnesses than a Royal Caribbean voyage this time of year. Yet, you’ve got to something with them.
You’ve been considering one of those John Travolta things to stick them in until the temperature leaves the high 60’s. But maybe a ball pit will occupy them with less long-term psychological damage.
We are going to bring a ball pit with a safe, soft set of steps and short slide to your place, what we call our Indoor Climb & Slide bundle
If you need it today; we’ll bring it today. If you want it for a birthday party in two weeks, just make a reservation for the correct date and we’ll make sure it’s there on time.
We are meticulous about making sure everything we bring you is professionally cleaned and then some. We want you to have the non-Strep-throatiest slide and ball pit on the face of the planet and will sacrifice as many Joymode grunts as needed to make sure it’s 100% dirt and germ-free.
Setting it up is so easy, this shouldn’t even have its own section. But we already highlighted the heading and bolded it and don’t know how to undo it.
Anyway, it’s just a bunch of lightweight, soft shapes that you place next to each other in a corner. The balls go into an area between the slide and the stairs. That’s literally it.
The Fun Part
Think of all the good times you’re going to have with this ball pit. No, not you specifically, child-rearing-individual-with-an-interest-in-ball-pits. We mean your kid. As well as the friends and neighbors they want to invite over for an afternoon dip in the plastic.
This thing will obviously kill at kids’ parties. And we don’t mean literally since everything is soft and made of phthalate-and-BPA-free plastic. But you can’t say the same for clowns. Kids don’t even like clowns. You know what they do like? Ball pits.
The pit (which is what you’ll call it to sound cool) is a little like a pool. So if the kids start getting bored, you can always suggest a game of Marco Polo.
Or you can take the balls out so the little ones can play catch or organize them by color or engage in the ancient baby pastime of staring into space and just chewing on them.
And when all else fails, you know, just let them throw the things everywhere like they want. You’ll pick ‘em up. You always do.
Getting Rid Of It
A day will come when you’re tired of the ball pit. And your kids are tired of the ball pit. And everyone is tired of us using the words “ball” and “pit.”
Sweet. Let’s get this thing out of your life until the next time you need it. You can keep it for up to a month, depending on availability.
When you’re through, we’ll send one of our drivers to come pick it up immediately. All that will remain are the memories. And an empty corner where they say fun was once had.
Now, had you gone and bought the thing, it would live with you forever and go on to haunt future generations of your family, long after you’ve parted from this terrestrial plane.
But you made a wise decision the day you came to us looking for help. Because we ain’t afraid of no ball pits.
Sorry, bad attempt at a Ghostbusters joke.