There are many things that will challenge you on the road towards becoming a serious couple, but perhaps nothing so much as an apartment deep clean. Emotions will run high, patience will be tested, and worst of all, you’re inevitably `taking a trip into the museum of your past. Luckily, we’ve got all the gear you need, so all you need to do is… ya know, do it. Here’re some ways to make it easier on yourselves:
Don’t clean in silence
If the Seven Dwarfs taught us anything, it’s to whistling while you work. You don’t actually need to whistle the whole time like a bunch of serial killers, but a great playlist is essential to this process. Singing is the ultimate time passer, so bust some tunes you like. Pro tip: a broom handle makes a great microphone.
When it comes to a deep clean, you can’t just bust into the saloon, guns blazing. No wingin’ it. You need to have a plan — split up the work with your partner. Go from room to room systematically. Any other way and you’ll go insane wandering around in circles for the rest of your days without any real cleaning taking place.
Prepare for the past to become the present
Relics from your earlier days always seem to find ways to pop up at the worst possible time. Luckily for you, we’ve prepared a few possible things you might find, along with instructions on how to handle those scenarios.
Your high school yearbook
Don’t let your partner look through it. Best case scenario, they worry all of your acne will come back. Worst case scenario, they think you peaked in high school.
Underwear you don’t recognize
Your best bet here is to just start shouting “Ashton???” because then you can make it seem like you’re being Punk’d. And then maybe for the rest of your life keep referencing the time you got punked when Ashton put somebody else’s underwear in your place. Admittedly, this one is a bit of a Hail Mary, but you don’t really have much of a choice.
A secret room containing a corkboard full of pictures and newspaper clippings, along with lines of string in every direction
Just close that door and walk away. Your partner is getting very close to finally figuring out the mystery of their uncle’s murder.
If anything is a motivator, it’s a nice reward. Pop some tasty craft beer in the fridge for a celebratory toast. Maybe open up that nice wine you’ve been waiting for no particular special occasion for. Maybe it’s during thr week and you’re looking to take Taco Tuesday to the next level by making your own margs. Whatever you do, just make sure there’s something exciting waiting for you at the end of the day.
Congratulations! You can finally be proud of the place you live!