The Bored Child Emergency Kit Every Parent NEEDS

When boredom strikes, you'll be prepared!

joymode bored child emergency kit

It’s early when the emergency strikes. Your child is bored. And the only cure seems to be bugging the hell out of you until you do something about it.

Read on to discover a full day’s worth of distractions in our Bored Child Emergency Kit, a collection of bundles your kids will love. And that you’ll appreciate because none of it will clutter up your house.

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10:00am: The alarms are sounded. Your yard apes are bored. Fortunately, you did the responsible thing and got your child a pony. That is, Pony Cycle, a plush horse that your kid gets to ride around the room without any effort.

Total Child Distraction Time: 40 minutes.

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10:40am: Seeing the Pony Cycle abandoned by the side of the sofa, you reach for the Nerf Disruptor Blaster from Nerf Battle. Time flies while chasing each other around the house.

Total Child Distraction Time: 1 hour, including breaks to locate lost ammo and check for battle scars after an inevitable slip on the kitchen runner.

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11:40am: And now you two are teaming up on something you know they’ll eat: chicken nuggets, using our Air Fryer. Don’t even think of telling anyone they’re healthy.

Total Child Distraction Time: 35 minutes. 20 to cook, 15 to eat, 5 for ketchup negotiations.

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12:15am: You’ve made it to mealtime. Yay. Fire up those micropachycephalosaurus-shaped chicken nuggets and strap that booster seat in tight.

Total Child Distraction Time: Maybe 5 mminutes on Insta, if you're lucky. But, be grateful.

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12:30pm: You’re back on the clock. In true a stroke of genius, you’ve rented our Indoor Climb & Slide bundle, so your kid can conquer soft stairs, then slide or jump into the balls below. You may even invite someone else’s kids over. At a fair price.

Total Child Distraction Time: 1 hour, 15 minutes in which your child never tires of repeating this activity.

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1:45pm: In the logical world of adults, everyone would be asleep now. Instead, you’re immersing your child in our Square Panda, merging the attention-holding abilities of iPad games with a multisensory spelling class.

Total Child Distraction Time: 50 minutes of you sleeping... with one eye open.

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2:35pm: In another stroke of genius, you added on the Kids Indoor Tent. You have absolutely no idea what they’re doing in there, but it sounds fun.

Total Child Distraction Time: 15 minutes, give or take the day's imagination bandwidth.

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2:50pm: Everyone’s refreshed and ready to play together again. Two words: Bubble Party!!!

Total Child Distraction Time: 30 minutes, including the one you spend thanking God for bubbles. "You're totally welcome," she says.

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3:20pm: You have the Cotton Candy Machine at the ready so you two can make wispy, sugar-saturated magic. Best parent ever? Clearly.

Total Child Distraction Time: 30 minutes.

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3:50pm: Look, you’ve been raising the bar kind of high today. Who told you to do all of this? Oh, right. And here we are recommending your own Outdoor Waterpark. *Weather permitting.

Total Child Distraction Time: 40 minutes.

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4:30pm: Congratulations. Most bars are now serving happy hour, which means it's socially acceptable to begin drinking. And since you’re treating yourself, go ahead and let your child fiddle with the Nintendo Switch you rented for yourself.

Total Child Distraction Time: 1 hour, including 10 minutes of protest when you take the Switch back for YOUR turn.

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5:30pm: Night approaches. Dinner and bedtime draw near. Perhaps another adult is even returning from home to assist and provide conversation that at least meets the 10th grade level. And really, you’re having a total blast with your little one, currently beating the snot out of you in oversized Connect Four from our Giant Games Bundle.

Total Time of Occupation: To bedtime and beyond.

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