Guyyyssss. Enough with the celery juice! Don't know what we're talking about? It's all over GOOP, so you know it's a thing. You can't swing a swipe up on a lifestyle blogger's page without checking out their new recipe for celery juice.
It’s a "diet" that’s taking New Year’s resolutions by storm and, well, we’re not here for it. Take your mental clarity, de-bloat, and superfood and shove it through your juicer. Do you know how many other superior juice flavors exist that can achieve the holy grail of WELLNESS other than...a vehicle for peanut butter?
We’re not going to fructose coat it, juicing requires a little of the ole elbow grease, but it is definitely worth it, especially when a cold pressed juice in Los Angeles will run you anywhere from $8-$20. Pffft!
Ok, so you're down to DIY at home. Smart. Let us deliver a juicer straight to your door so you can essentially jack some of your favorite juice spots’ best recipes and build a serious cache of fresh juices that includes but is not limited to... celery.
Step 1) Acquire juicer.
We’ve got an Omega juicer to send you whenever you're ready to get your juice on. It’s a steady and stylish masticating machine that cleanly and efficiently extracts juice from vegetables and fruits at a slower speed, preserving critical enzymes, maximizing output and exorcising body thetans.
And, it’s not just doomed to play a juicer its whole life. The thing can make nut butters and baby food, too. Which could save you a ton of money before you send it back after you’re through.
Step 2) Wheeze the juice.
The bundle also comes with a big old book that has 400 recipes. That should make things easy. Check it out and then field trip! Call a friend to meet you at the farmer’s market. You’re going to want the best stuff you can find for your juices, as fresh, organic product vastly boosts flavor and nutrition.
While fruit certainly sweetens things up, you’ll get the most bang for your buck in terms of nourishment from leafy greens, roots, spices and vegetables, using fruit as a backup player.
In terms of making the juice, it’s easy. You wash everything extremely well then pass it on through the juicer. This is where we would say “boom” if we were the kind of people who say “boom.”
Step 3) Batching.
Like we said before, the Omega is a slow-speed masticating machine. It was so awesome the first time we said it, we had to say it again. Essentially this means the juice you make will be good for up to 24 hours when kept in a stainless steel or glass container in the fridge. Keep things as chill 😎 as possible.
So, if you’re batching for a multi-day cleanse or simply want to have juice on hand without keeping the juicer around, you’ll want freeze your daily/weekly allotments of juice in air-tight containers. Enzymes, vitamins and nutrients are preserved in the short term, degrading significantly slower only after weeks and months go by. Bonus points for reusing as many bottles and containers as you can.
Step 4) Find/Jack a favorite recipe.
Recreating the kinds of juice you like at home can be easy as scanning the online menus at your favorite juice spots. A lot of them put the ingredients in their descriptions. Once you get the hang of some basic recipes, you can adjust and customize things and include your own supplements and additions, be it bee pollen, goji berries or, hell, sour patch gummy worms. It’s your juicer.
But, if that all feels too morally dubious for you, we’ve gone and put together a few easy recipes you can make yourself, based on some of the trendy kinds you can find out there. You may recognize them, even if we’re not naming names. It’ll be more fun to give them your own, anyway. Enjoy.
The Green Juice
An all-around health booster full of some of the most powerful leafy greens earth has to offer. AKA, all the things that taste better in juice form.
- 1-cup spinach
- 1-cup romaine
- 1-cup kale
- 2 celery stalks
- 1 green apple
- 1 cucumber
- ½ peeled lemon
- 1 tsp. ginger
- 2-3 sprigs of parsley
The Tropical Juice
Great for a cleanse or just to put a spring in your morning step. Uh, mon?
- 2 apples
- 3 sprigs of mint
- 1 pineapple
- 1 lemon
- 1 bunch leafy greens (optional)
- Garnish with mint leaves and (also optional) dried coconut
The Root Juice
The ideal inflammatory. That just happens to be great for playing Dracula.
- ½ cucumber
- 1 green apple
- 1tsp fresh turmeric
- 85g peel beet
- ½ tsp. ginger
- ½ tsp. lemon juice
- 1 twist of black pepper