Everybody knows the words to Journey's “Don’t Stop Believin’.” Y'all know how to belt Oasis's “Don’t Look Back in Anger.” If there are 4-5 millennial girls present, you know you're gonna hear a completely unharmonized version of “If You Wanna To Be My Lover.” And, if you have truly masochistic friends, they’ll make you sit through all 100 minutes of their horrible rendition of “Bohemian Rhapsody.”
If you’re sick of the same old karaoke jams, it's up to you to do something about it. You and your friends deserve better than a screechy version of "Love Shack," and you sure as hell are too old to drink enough booze to make Britney Spears work in any real way. So, we're here to help.
- Step #1: Reserve a karoake machine to bring into the safety of your own home.
- Step #2: Cue up these amazing, often forgotten jams.
- Step #3: Post it all to Insta stories, even though it's like an inside joke no one wanted to anyone who wasn't at the party.
I 2 I
Why start anywhere else? Powerline is basically Michael Jackson and Prince combined, and “I 2 I” is an absolute banger. A Goofy Movie is perfect, and if the entire room doesn’t start screaming when they hear that opening synth riff, you have the wrong friends. Bonus points if you learn to do The Perfect Cast.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm
Crash Test Dummies
This song is absolute nonsense (as is the official music video), and you really have no business singing it at karaoke –– but doesn’t that mean you have ALL of the business singing it at karaoke? Frontman Brad Roberts’ creepy baritone voice is way fun to impersonate, especially if you throw in the grungey Eddie Vedder/Chris Cornell-ish vocals that make this song so damn weird. At the very least, you’ll have fun.
“Your Love” is one of those songs that silences the room the minute it starts. It’s also one of those songs that everybody loves to sing along to, no matter how far out of your range it is. It’s also also one of those songs that nobody really knows the name of, or who wrote it, but will fire the entire room up regardless. Get it in your rotation.
That’s right, Cher. We’re not talking about that Mumford & Sons song here –– when it comes to songs called “Believe,” there is Cher and only Cher. The chorus is upsettingly perfect, and though none of us can sing like her majesty, Cher, we can sure as hell try. Major plus if you’re a dude singing this song.
That Thing You Do
It’s a medical fact that That Thing You Do is wonderful (onederful?), and this is the type of jam that the room didn’t know they were waiting so desperately to hear. Fun fact: Fountains of Wayne bassist Adam Shlesinger wrote this song. Sorry to inform you, but you’re a huge Fountains of Wayne fan now.
By far one of the whiniest songs ever recorded, “Bad Day” will earn you groans at first, but before the crowd even knows what hit them, the ice on their hearts will have melted, and you will have a full-fledged singalong on your hands.
Just a Friend
Here’s how you bring down the house in karaoke in three easy steps:
- Queue up the illustrious Biz Markie’s “Just a Friend"
- Bust every lyric perfectly
- Walk around the room and hold the mic out to people to sing the chorus with you
Congratulations, you’re the Lord of Karaoke.