How to Host A Nerf Party As A Grown Ass Adult

Party like it's 1999. Literally.

Being an adult is booooooring. Instead of candy, it’s berry-flavored Greek yogurt. Instead of partying, it’s bed by 10pm or else you literally won't be able to stay awake and keep your dang job. So, if you’re getting even older, and looking for some birthday party ideas to spice things up, why not do one of the best childhood activities right the heck now as a for-one-brief-and-glorious-evening-not-boring grown ass adult? Command your battlestations. It’s time for a Nerf Battle Royale. Yeah, that’s right, we’re talking Nerf toys, those plastic suction-cup-dart shooting vessels of pure joy. Here’s how to do it right.

Get Those “Laser Tag Arena” Vibes

Nothing screams “we’re trying too hard to have fun” than a bunch of adults packed in a normal living room. Ditch the Ikea furniture, turn off the lights, and get that “90s rave” aesthetic on blast. We’re talking fog machines. Strobe lights. Big honkin’ techno beats. Trust us: it will make catching Carol from accounting with your Nerf Alphahawk Blaster all the more satisfying.

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Have Dope Codenames

Pop quiz: Which sentence is cooler?

  1. "Chad! Reload your Nerf guns and meet up with me and Steve before Carl gets us!"
  2. "Shadewolf! Reload your Nerf guns and rendezvous with me and Sunspark before Bloodlord gets us!"

Yeah, that’s a no-brainer.

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Maybe Go For A Cheesy ‘80s Action Movie Plot

If you wanna just Nerf the heck out of each other in a free-for-all, blessings unto you. But if you want your party ideas cranked up a notch, why not throw a Die Hard 2 coat of paint on that sucker? (Note: Die Hard 2 is a conscious choice, as it is demonstrably cheesier than Die Hard, which is the perfect movie, but we don’t have time to get into that right now) Here’s some plot ideas to get the conversation started:

  • One team has kidnapped the President, the other team has to rescue them
  • One team are monsters from space, the other team are grizzled ex-Marines who have tragic backstories
  • A group of wisecracking kids trying to get treasure from a group of wisecracking pirates

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Here’s A Big Note: Be Cool About It

It might be called a Nerf Disruptor Blaster, but you shouldn’t disrupt the fun with an overzealous attitude. If you ask us, there’s nothing more badass than “respecting the boundaries of someone who isn’t maybe as naturally good at Nerf and just needs a second to not get pelted with darts.” Not that we’re speaking from personal experience…

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Choose Your Silly Mouth Noise Wisely

This ain’t Hollywood. You gotta make your own Nerf sounds. Some you can take for free: Brrap! Byoo, byoo! Pow bang! Pshhew!

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Now that you have all the tools to Nerf it up with aplomb, what are you waiting for? Lock and load, soldier! Oh, what’s that? We do have time to get into why Die Hard is perfect? Great! So, let’s start with planting and payoff –– Hey, where are you going??