How to Celebrate St. Patty’s Day Like a Grown Up

When in doubt, stay at home and invite people over.

Sure, it used to be nice to drink a hundred beers in the middle of the day as you stumble down the street on a pub crawl but, unfortunately, your aging old person body can’t really handle that type of thing anymore. Especially on a school night. There are a lot of reasons to pass on bars and party at your house this St. Patty’s Day. We’ll lay down some of the best ones for ya.

Skip The Bar Crawl

Any bar crawl for a holiday dedicated to excessive drinking is going to be exactly that: excessive. It’s just a whole lot to deal with. You’ll be engulfed by lots of jolly green bros ripping shots and making jokes about the luck of the Irish. Like Dewey Cox, you don’t want no part of that noice. Keep it inside and control the guest list in your own living room, backyard –– anywhere that doesn't have sticky floors.

Go Green

One mandatory part of St. Patrick’s Day is turning everything you drink green. It’s actually easy as hell to do this –– just pinch a few drops of green food coloring into your beer, or reserve our St. Patty's's Day House Party bundle, which includes a bunch of St. Patty’s Day cocktail recipes. Or you can always cast a spell over your drink with magic sorcery. It’s all quite easy.

Car Bombs

Irish Car Bombs –– a shot of Bailey’s and Jameson dropped into a pint of Guinness –– are one of those things that you love to talk mad smack about until you actually do one, finally realizing that they’re fun and maybe even kind of delicious (admit it, they taste like chocolate milk). Why pay inflated prices at your local Irish pub when you can live that sweet, sweet wholesale life? Plus, you get to skip the nightmare of attempting to carry all of them from the bar to your table. IF you were lucky enough to even get a table.

Riverdance Contest

Would St. Patty’s Day be complete without a probably-offensive-to-Irish-people activity? It’s your house and your rules, so go ahead and throw a contest. The best part about doing an Irish jig is that it looks much better if you have absolutely no idea what you’re doing. Flip your legs around like an insane person, jump up and down, wave your arms, who cares. Like all dancing, as long as you look confident, that’s all that really matters.

Strike it Rich

Of all the things that St. Patrick’s Day brings each year, the one that cannot possibly be argued is the fact that you will most certainly find a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. It’s a scientific fact. That means that, yep, congratulations, you’re striking it rich this year. You earned it.