It's finally October, which means it is OFFICIALLY TIME TO GET SPOOKY. And, if you’ve got a bunch of monsters making their way to your haunted house this weekend, you might be worried (and not because you just found out your house is haunted (though please worry about that too)). How are you supposed to entertain a bunch of horror-hungry ghouls? In other words: Who ya gonna call? There’s only one response: These classic Halloween movies! There are no other ways to answer that iconic question!
Uh, duh doy. Crank that Carpenter score through the speakers, babyyyy.
Trick ‘r Treat
It’s a fun throwback to vintage anthology scares. But also, it’s WAY more gutsy than any Twilight Zone episode. And “gutsy”... is a pun fully intended. While you’re at it, grab yourself a pumpkin for some on-the-fly cosplay.
When Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis smush up their faces to scare people? It’s wilder than any dang CGI specter you can throw at the screen. The only thing that can diffuse the tension? Harry Belafonte, of course.
A Quiet Place
A recent addition to the jump scare-a-thon Halloween movie canon (JSHMC if you’re nasty). Feel your homies holding their breaths as John “don’t-call-him-Jim” Krasinski tiptoes around silently. Feel the popcorn spill as they jump 900 feet out of their lounger chair. Feel the laughter as everyone pretends they didn’t just jump 900 feet out of their lounger chair.
Correct ways of being “that friend” while watching: Pointing out that stop-motion maestro Henry Selick directed it, not Tim Burton. Incorrect ways of being “that friend” while watching: Debating whether it’s truly a Halloween or Christmas movie. THINGS CAN BE MORE THAN ONE THING! YOU CAN LIKE PIZZA AND TACOS! WHY IS ALWAYS EITHER/OR WITH YOU? WHY DON’T YOU HAVE ANY FUN HENRY SELICK FACTS?!
The Addams Family
Truly one of the best Halloween movies ever made. Morticia and Gomez are very, very much #RelationshipGoals. Oh, people don’t say #RelationshipGoals anymore? Too bad! Morticia and Gomez’s love transcends trends! Also, we can’t force you to learn the choreography to the Mamushka beforehand and bust it out perfectly as it plays onscreen. But, like, why deny yourself such a beautiful life experience?
If you're looking for less in the moment horror, and more "pyschologically eff you up for several consecutive days," then you really can't go wrong with Stephen King's classic, The Shining. Redrum, anyone?
Hmm. Never heard of it.
Does this sound like a frightfully good time? Heed our final warning -- the best Halloween movies deserve the best screening setup. Ghosts get real weird about HD resolution. And if there’s one thing we ain’t afraid of… it’s film dork ghosts. FDG if you’re nasty.